Let's Go, Diancie & Karli!
by Anthony Staffenhagen
Summary: Diancie's group and Karli both got stuff to do in Kanto in the X universe. Includes crossovers with The Loud House and more. Also, SpongeBob SquarePants is in this! Cover image by DeviantArt user Southrobin.
1. Another New Journey - Evil Plans?

In Vaniville Town, Kalos in the Y universe, there's a house lived in by 5 Pokémon and an Inkling. On April 1st, 2019, the owner of the house, Diancie, was laying on the couch in the living room with her best friend Celebi sitting beside her. While Diancie and Celebi were watching TV, the three other Pokémon who lived there, an Emolga, a Marshadow, and a shiny Poipole, came inside very fast.

Diancie: Your loud door opening just interrupted the best part of this show! This had better be important.

Marshadow: Oh, it is. Espurr's robbing the bank in Santalune City!

Diancie: So? How is that at all something I would care about? It isn't.

Poipole turned to his right to look at Emolga.

Poipole: I thought you said Diancie liked stopping Espurr's evil plans.

Emolga: She used to at least. I guess she stopped caring.

Diancie: I did stop caring. And here's why I can. Whatshername is a cop now with a bunch of other cops to help her out. They can take care of Espurr. Whatshername handled her all on her own before she even started cop school, so obviously she can handle her now.

Emolga: You mean when she arrested her on Funny Commercials Day last year?

Diancie: Yep.

Marshadow: You sure about that? Because Whatshername told me about when that happened and she didn't do it on her own.

Poipole: Yeah, that other squid was with her.

Diancie: Close enough. My point is Whatshername's gonna make Espurr look like an even more pathetic excuse for a Pokémon than she already is. I'd really like to see that, actually. Celbs, go down there and get it on video for me.

Celebi: ...You...you want me to go down there? A...alone?

Marshadow: Why don't you just go see it for yourself instead of making Celebi record it?

Diancie: Because I'm watching something on TV right now. Duh!

Celebi: But...but but...me going to a bank robbery all by myself sounds...really scary!

Diancie: Then take Marshadow with you.

Celebi: Wha...? Really? You're gonna let me and Marshy be by ourselves?

Marshadow: Please don't say "let." That makes it sound like Diancie's your bo...

Diancie: The people who work at the bank probably called the cops, so Whatshername's gonna be there. She knows to make sure you two don't do anything I won't allow.

Celebi: But how can she watch us if she's focusing on the...?

Marshadow: Now, now. Let's not go pointing out the flaws in Diancie's logic when we can finally have some alone time. I would've preferred it wasn't in a bank while it's being robbed, but I'll totally settle for that.

Celebi: You're right. Let's go, Diancie.

Marshadow: What was that?!

Celebi: Sorry. I'm just so used to going places with Diancie that I forgot she's not coming.

Marshadow: Oh. That's good. I thought you had just Christmas Eve wedding'd me there for a second.

Celebi nervously chuckled a bit. Then she and Marshadow went over to the front door.

Emolga: Can I come?

Marshadow: ...You wanna come?

Emolga: Heck yeah! I'll bet it's actiony!

Marshadow: Umm...okay. But I wanted this to be a me and Celbs thing, so...

Emolga: ...I see.

Once they could tell Emolga would stay home, Celebi and Marshadow left the house.

Poipole: Are you ever gonna let them just be boyfriend and girlfriend?

Diancie: Nope! Celebi is mine and no one can take her away from me.

Poipole: But if she's...?

Diancie: If you had a best friend with a former best friend who came out of nowhere and ruined your life, you would feel the same way!

Poipole: If you say so. I'm gonna go finish my painting.

Diancie: I don't care.

Poipole went upstairs.

Emolga: I'm gonna go watch Batman v Superman for the hundredth time.

Diancie: I don't care.

Emolga went upstairs but then came back down.

Emolga: That's not an exaggeration. It's actually the hundredth time I've watched it. I'm so hyped!

Diancie: I don't care!

* * *

In another part of Y universe Kalos, a 20 something girl named Twin Anthony (Yes, she has a boy's name.) was in front of her house, fighting her arch enemy, Omega, the evil robot from the planet Buyoras.

Twin Anthony: Why do you keep doing this? You know I'm gonna beat you. I always do.

Omega: Not this time! Your Meowstic told me about your secret weakness.

Twin Anthony: She would never!

Omega: She told me that when the super speed you were born with came with a side effect. I know that you'll die instantly if your left leg is touched by metal, which I just so happen to be made out of.

Omega kicked Twin Anthony in the left leg.

Twin Anthony: Noooooo!

Twin Anthony fell to the ground and her eyes slowly closed.

Omega: Yes! At last! Now that I'm finally done with her, I can move on to the other humans who wazzed me off. I'm coming for you, Leni Loud!

Omega ran away. Once she was gone, Twin Anthony got back up while laughing. Then she let Meowstic out of her Poké Ball.

Twin Anthony: I can't believe she bought it. What year was it when she first came to Earth? 2014? You'd think in all that time, she would've found out about April Fool's Day at some point. Thanks again for helping me with this.

Meowstic: You're welcome. When do you think Omega will find out you didn't really die?

Twin Anthony: Hopefully never.

Twin Anthony and Meowstic went into the house where Twin Anthony's friends and roommates Karli and Sasha were in the living room.

Twin Anthony: You guys! I just got Omega out of...

Twin Anthony stopped talking when she noticed Karli was wearing a different shirt, skirt, and footwear than usual.

Twin Anthony: What's with the new clothes? Are they so you look less like the girl Pokémon Trainer in Smash Bros.?

Karli: Her name is Fake Karli, thank you very much. And no, this is not what they're for. Not in the slightest.

Sasha: They're for the Pokémon journey she's gonna go on.

Karli: Getting a new outfit at the start of a Pokémon journey seems to be an unofficial requirement for some reason.

Twin Anthony: Yeah, I'm still not convinced you're ever actually gonna start that journey. You've been saying you're gonna since the day before your birthday.

Karli: I don't know. Six months doesn't seem like that long to me. And, just FYI, I'm gonna start the journey today.

Twin Anthony: What?!

Karli: I said...

Twin Anthony: I know what you said. It's just that...you never told me it was gonna be today. Couldn't you wait a bit longer? Say, 20 to 30 years at least? Or forever?

Karli: I want it to be today because today's April 1st and I found out that April 1st is the day you're supposed to start Pokémon journeys on. I learned that on Game Theory.

Twin Anthony: There'll be another April 1st at least 30 years from now.

Karli: True. But there's also an April 1st right now. So see you all in a few months. I'll be in X universe Kanto.

Sasha: Are you sure you still want it to be Kanto? Kanto doesn't really seem worth going to anymore.

Karli: It'll be worth going to. My mom said a lot has changed since I've been gone.

Sasha: But wouldn't you rather explore a region you've never been to before? I hear Galar is lovely this time of year.

Karli: About that, how come everybody's been talking about Galar so much lately? None of us ever talked about or even thought about Galar up until February. It's like it's a brand new thing that never existed before.

Twin Anthony: I would say you're being ridiculous, but what you're saying actually sounds pretty accurate.

Meowstic: Karli, if you were gonna leave today, shouldn't you get going? Aren't you worried about other trainers getting Professor Oak's starter Pokémon before you get there? That's what happened to Ash Ketchum.

Karli: Indeed it is. But I've got plenty of time. Twin Anthony can get me there with her super speed.

Twin Anthony: No can do, actually.

Karli: Because you don't want me to leave?

Twin Anthony: Yes. I mean, no. It's because if I go outside, Omega might see me and she'll see that I'm alive.

Karli: What are you talking about?

Twin Anthony: I tricked Omega into thinking she killed me so that she'd leave me alone. I'll let her know the truth the next time she tries to take over or destroy the world.

Sasha: But how are you gonna know if she is?

Twin Anthony: ...I did not think this through.

Meowstic: I'd better go look for Omega.

Sasha: What are you gonna do?

Meowstic: I'm not sure. Maybe if I tell her about how I used to be evil but now I'm not, she'll stop being evil too.

Karli: That idea does not suck at all.

Meowstic ran out of the house.

Karli: So, you're not gonna carry me to Reflection Cave?

Twin Anthony: Nope.

Karli: Then how am I ever gonna get there in time?

Twin Anthony: You're not. You're just gonna have to stay home.

Karli: Oh, come on! There's gotta be some other way. Maybe Korrina can give me a ride. Rollerskating is faster than running, right?

Sasha: Good idea. I'll text her.

Karli: There's no time. I'm gonna start running and if I happen to come across her, great.

Sasha: Okay, now you're having sucky ideas.

Karli: I don't have a choice. I'm apparently in a really big hurry.

Karli ran out of the house too.

Twin Anthony: She'll quit and be back by tonight. Guarantee it.

* * *

**Santalune City**

Celebi and Marshadow arrived at the bank.

Marshadow: Stop right there, Espurr!

Celebi noticed Espurr was walking to the front door, carrying a big bag full of money.

Celebi: Oh-no! We're too late..

Espurr: Too late for what?

Celebi: We were gonna try to stop you from robbing the bank. Or, more likely, Marshy was and I was just gonna record it with my eyes closed because it's too scary.

Espurr: Record it? You don't have a camera or anything.

Celebi: ...Oh, I knew I forgot something.

Espurr: And I'll have you know I WASN'T robbing the bank. I was just making a withdrawal. Just because a villain is in a bank doesn't mean they're robbing it.

Marshadow: Okay, you're obviously trying to get us to let you go by lying. A bank wouldn't even let a Pokémon have an account.

Espurr: You want me to prove it? Okay then. Do those look like people who just got robbed?

Espurr pointed to the bank tellers and they were all calm.

Marshadow: Yeah, I'd say that's pretty convincing.

Celebi: So you don't have any evil plans right now?

Espurr: Oh, I do. That's what the withdrawal's for.

Marshadow: In that case, we still need to stop you.

Espurr used Substitute to teleport away.

Marshadow: Man, one of us needs to learn that move.

Celebi spotted a piece of paper on the floor and picked it up.

Celebi: Looks like Espurr dropped something.

The piece of paper said "X universe Kanto" on it.

* * *

Karli made it to Pallet Town in the X universe and stood in front of Professor Oak's lab. Because of all the running she just got done doing, she had to stop to catch her breath. She reached her hand out to open the door, but then someone else opened it from inside and stepped out. It was someone Karli didn't know too personally, but was still able to recognize. This person was also wearing different clothes than usual.

Karli: You're Y universe Lana Loud, right? I'm Karli. I was friends with your brother. Not Lincoln, I mean the one who died.

Lana: Oh yeah, I've heard of you. What brings you here?

Karli: I'm here to start a Pokémon journey.

Lana: Me too!

Karli: Yeah, I figured since you've got new clothes.

Lana: Ash Ketchum gave them to me.

Karli: Nice! Is that why you picked Kanto? 'Cause it's where he started his journey?

Lana: No, I had Kanto picked out before then. I probably would've just journeyed through Michigan, but I wanted to explore the X universe because me and my family recently found out that there's more than one universe, so I wanted to see what the other ones are like. The reason I picked Kanto specifically is because I saw a bunch of people on the internet say that Kanto sucks and that made me feel sorry for it.

Karli: Really? I remember when the internet made it seem like Kanto was the only region that mattered and it had to be everybody's first region. Man, times have changed.

Lana: Is that why you picked Kanto?

Karli: Nope. I picked it because this is where I'm from.

Lana: You're from _this_ Kanto?

Karli: Yep.

Lana: Really? I thought you were from the Y universe like me.

Karli: Nope. I just moved there, debatably either a few or many years ago, because I met a bunch of friends who lived there.

Lana: I see. Well, see you around. I'm gonna go start my first ever Pokémon journey. I just hope I don't fall off a cliff.

Lana started to leave.

Karli: Wait. Did Professor Oak by any chance have any starters left?

Lana: Sorry, but...No, he didn't. He only had two Pokémon to give away, a Pikachu and an Eevee, and he said some other kids already got them.

Karli fell down to the ground due to the letdown of not being able to get a Pokémon.

Lana: But, he said anybody who wants to can use a different Pokémon as their starter if they have one already, which I did.

Lana's Froakie, Hops, came out of her backpack.

Hops: Froakie!

Lana: Is there one you can use?

Karli: Hhhm. You know what? There is! I'm gonna go call my sister!

Lana: Your sister? What good will that do?

Karli: You know that Emolga who gave Luan superpowers?

Lana: Yeah. Is your sister that Emolga's trainer? 'Cause I thought it was...

Karli: You'll see.

Karli went into the lab.

* * *

Celebi & Marshadow made it back home.

Marshadow: Poipole! Emolga! Get down here!

Emolga and Poipole came downstairs.

Celebi: Everyone, we've got some really bad news.

Marshadow: Espurr's planning something in X universe Kanto. We're all gonna have to go there.

Diancie: No we aren't!

Out of nowhere, the TV changed from the thing Diancie was watching to a video chat feature. An electronic voice repeatedly said "Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call!"

Diancie: What the heck is this?!

Emolga: I downloaded it this morning. Isn't it cool?

Diancie: Change the ring tone immediately!

Poipole: How do we answer it?

Emolga: We gotta pick up the phone that goes on the side of the TV, but I haven't bought one of those yet.

Diancie: You downloaded this annoying thing before you bought the thing that makes it stop?

Emolga: Yes.

Diancie: I hate you so much.

Emolga: It's alright. I'll just go next door and borrow George's.

Emolga went outside.

Diancie: So what's this super important thing Espurr's doing?

Marshadow: We don't know.

Diancie: You don't know?

Celebi: All we know is that it's gonna be in X universe Kanto.

Marshadow: And technically, we don't even know that for sure either.

Diancie: If you don't know what she's doing, why are you so sure that we have to do something about it?

Marshadow: Because, what if...?

Diancie: I don't live in X universe Kanto. I live in Y universe Kalos. So unless something's gonna happen to Y universe Kalos, I don't care. And even then, I might still not.

Emolga came back in, holding a green telephone. She took it over to the TV and did nothing.

Emolga: I just realized I don't know how to install this.

Diancie: Oh my Arceus, you are so useless!

Diancie took out her chainsaw and used it to cut the TV in half.

Diancie: I have to buy a new TV now, but that ringtone needed to stop!

Marshadow: Diancie! That could've been an important call.

Diancie: ...I'm Diancie. I am a Legendary Pokémon. I am extremely powerful. I have a Mega Evolution. I could not get more awesome!

Marshadow: What is your point?!

Diancie: My point is that call could not possibly have been important. I'm awesome and I don't have to let anyone make me do anything. Do you know why I chose to live here instead of being the princess of the kingdom I lived in when I was a Carbink?

Marshadow: Because you hate the way princesses are usually portrayed, so you refused to be one because it would make others stereotype you?

Diancie: ...I don't even know what you just said. It was because the princess had to do a bunch of work and got nothing in return for it. That kind of life is not for me! Here, I get to do whatever I want and never have to worry about anything ever.

Celebi: You have nothing to worry about at all?

Diancie: Okay, that was an exaggeration obviously. But you all get what I'm saying, right?

Marshadow: No, not really.

Diancie: Whatever! If you all wanna go to Kanto, go ahead. But I am staying right here.

Emolga: ...So Marshadow, are we gonna go?

Marshadow: ...You guys are letting me decide this?

Poipole: Emolga is for some reason. I will be making this decision myself. Yes, I would like to come.

Celebi: Me too.

Marshadow: Then looks like we're taking a trip to Kanto and I'm in charge!

Diancie: Wait. What?

Emolga: I'll be upstairs.

Marshadow: Calling Whatshername and telling her about this, right?

Emolga: Well, now that you've mentioned it, I will. But I meant I'm gonna finish watching my movie.

Marshadow: There's no time for...

Emolga: There's always time for DC!

* * *

In the X universe, Karli was trying to use Professor Oak's video phone, but the screen said "Disconnected."

Karli: Oh well. And I was looking forward to her reaction when she only saw me from the back because you don't know how to set it to the right camera.

Professor Oak: What do you mean? It works fine.

Karli: I was gonna pretend it didn't as an April Fool's joke.

Professor Oak: So what are you going to do about getting a Pokémon for the start of your journey?

Karli: I guess I have to go back to the Y universe and ask Emolga in person.

Professor Oak: What if she's not there?

Karli: Then I'll just wait for her to get back. The only way this could be a problem is if she was coming here. But what are the odds of that happening? *laughs*

Karli left the lab.

**To Be Continued**


	2. The Launch of TR, Childhood Thieves

After going back and forth between Y universe Kalos and X universe Kanto, Karli found Emolga in Pallet Town and explained to her that she wanted her to be her starter. It was an honor to be asked that, so Emolga asked her friends if she could go with Karli, which they were alright with. Over the next month, Karli & Emolga had battles against other trainers while exploring the Kanto region.

When they got to the Pewter City Gym, Karli was surprised to not be let in unless she had a Water or Grass type Pokémon. She of course wanted to challenge Brock, so she backtracked to Route 2 to catch an Oddish. However, Karli didn't actually use that Oddish against Brock. She wanted to prove that she could beat him with Emolga despite Electric/Flying types being at a disadvantage against Rock/Ground types. It took a few attempts, but Karli and Emolga were able to beat Brock and earn the Boulder Badge.

On May 1st, Karli was talking to her mom on the video phone in the Cerulean City Pokémon Center with Emolga floating by her side.

Karli's mom: So, what you been up to? How's your journey going?

Karli: It's going good. We beat Brock and we're gonna do Misty's gym today. Should be easy. I've got an Electric type and a Grass type and she uses Water Pokémon.

Lana, who had just gotten her Pokémon healed, walked over to Karli with Hops.

Karli's mom: Your father would be proud of you, Karli...if you had one!

Karli, her mom, and Emolga all laughed.

Lana: What happened to your dad?

Hops: Froakie?

Karli: Oh. Hi, Lana. Didn't see you there.

Karli's mom: Is this an acquaintance of yours?

Karli: Kinda. This is Lana Loud, Anthony's half-sister.

Lana: Nice to meet you, Miss...uhh...I don't know your last name.

Karli's mom: O'Donnell.

Lana: Thanks.

Karli: I'd also like you to meet my twin.

Karli put her hands around Emolga.

Lana: ...As a twin, I must say, I don't see the resemblance.

Karli: ...I'll explain it. At two different points in time, in two different universes, Arceus gave my mom and Emolga's mom each a seed that they could turn into a kid. Her mom was an Emolga, my mom was a human...Well, she still is...They still are. Anyway, me and Emolga used to be seeds. That's also how I don't have a dad.

Lana: ...Huh. I thought for sure you were gonna say your sister turned into an Emolga.

Karli: Pfft! That wouldn't have been as...Yeah, well, she didn't...That's not what happened.

Karli's mom: When you tell people that story, you should really give them some warning that what you're about to say is really really weird.

Karli: Don't spoil the surprise.

Lana: Wait. It's actually true? Karli isn't crazy?

Karli's mom: Yes, it's true.

Karli: True is what it is. It's 100% true. That is our canon backstories. Uhh...backstory. Just one.

Lana: ...Right.

Karli: You know, it's really ironic that you're reacting like this because a month ago, someone who looks exactly like...But on the other hand, you have the same name as...Never mind. Bye, Mom. I'm gonna go battle Misty now.

Lana: That's...

Karli's mom: Good luck. Bye.

Both Karli and her mom hung up.

Lana: That's what I wanted to talk to you about. The Gym Leader's not there.

Emolga: Emol?

Karli: What? Where is she then?

Lana: I don't know. When I asked the Gym guide, he just looked at me in a really creepy way like I had just asked him something...offensive, I guess.

Karli: The Gym guide?

Lana: You know, the guy in the front by those statues who calls you the Champ in the making.

Karli: Oh, the "you need a Water or Grass type" guy. I think his name is Clyde. Or maybe Jim. Blueberry?

Lana: To pass some time while we wait for the Gym Leader to come back, you wanna have a battle against me?

Karli: Sure.

Karli, Lana, and the two Pokémon went outside.

Karli: I don't know if this is something you care about, but did you see the Sonic the Hedgehog movie trailer that came out yesterday?

Lana: No, I didn't. Was it good?

Karli: Twin Anthony loved every second of it.

Lana: She must be a really big Sonic fan then.

Karli: Nope. She despises Sonic. That's why she liked the trailer.

Karli and Lana stood across from each other as they got ready for battle.

Lana: Go, Hops!

Hops: Froakie!

Karli: Let's do it, Emolga!

Emolga: Molga!

Lana: You ready to see that having a type advantage doesn't mean the battle's gonna be easy?!

Karli: Umm, you ready to lose in 1, maybe 2 moves? Emolga, use Electro Ball.

Emolga: Emol-GA!

Lana: Dodge it!

Hops dodged Emolga's attack.

Lana: Now use Smack Down.

Despite the type disadvantage, Lana and Hops were able to beat both Emolga and Oddish, who Karli returned to their balls.

?: The stupid Pikachu rip-off is unable to battle. The wannabe of my sister is the winner.

Karli: Who said that?!

Two Team Rocket members stepped in front of them. One was Robin, mayor of the Animal Crossing village Kirboshi. The other was named Lynn and looked exactly like Lana's sister of the same name.

Lynn: You seriously didn't recognize my voice?

Lana: *gasp* Is this that evil Lynn I've been told about?

Karli: I wasn't there when you were told about her, but probably.

Lynn: Robin, are you sure this is the same Karli? She doesn't seem to know who I am.

Robin: Are you X universe Karli?

Karli: Yeah.

Lynn: Good enough for me.

Lana: What do you want, Team Rocket?

Karli: Yeah, and where's Jessie, James, and Meowth?

Robin: They're back in the Y universe, trying to get Ash's Pikachu.

Karli: Ah, that makes sense. But speaking of that, am I ever gonna get to see Ash? I wanted to see him on the day I started my journey, but it didn't work out. I really hope I get to see him some time. He is just so awesome, way better than stupid Red, and...

Lynn: Shut up! If you like this Ash person so much, why don't ya' marry him?

Karli: Because we're both 10. Also, I'm gay.

Robin: Can we tell you what we wanted to tell you now?

Karli: Go right ahead.

Lynn: We kidnapped somebody important to you that relates to water!

Lana: I'll bet she means the Cerulean City Gym Leader.

Karli: Misty! Her name is Misty.

Lana: Sorry.

Robin: You're a misty, Karli.

Karli: What?...Oh, I see what you...That was a reference to...Yeah. Because it sounds similar to "mystery." Yeah.

Lynn: ...We can go now, right?

Robin: Of course.

Lynn and Robin turned around and started walking away.

Lana: That's it? You're not gonna battle us?

Lynn: I could beat your guys's Froakie and Emolga at the same time using just my Marowak.

Lana: Anybody can _say_ their Pokémon is strong. If you're so sure you'll win, you should actually battle to prove it.

Lynn: That would just be a waste of my time. And I wasn't saying my Pokémon was strong. I was saying yours are weak. Because you're weak.

Lana: What is with you?! The Lynn in the universe I'm from wouldn't just walk away from a challenge.

Lynn: I am not your Lynn. And I don't wanna be anything like her. I'll bet she sucks.

Robin and Lynn left.

Lana: What a jerk face.

Karli: Yeah, she's a real barnacle head. I agreed with all that stuff you were sayin' to her. We should go save Misty now.

Lana: Where do you think Team Rocket would've taken her?

Karli: I don't know. It could be anywhere. Who knows?

All of a sudden, Karli's rival, Whatshername the Inkling, drove up to them really fast in a motor bike with an empty side-car. She was wearing a police uniform and the Skate Helmet she usually wore. She jumped the motor bike over them, went through the Pokémon Center's front doors, and stopped inside.

Whatshername: I nose.

Karli: Whatshername, what are you doing here?

Whatshername got off the motor bike and walked over to Karli and Lana.

Whatshername: I'm here in Kanto with my group, except Diancie, because Espurr's up to something. I'm here in Cerulean City because I was told Team Rocket was here. Which way did they go?

Karli: They went that way.

Karli pointed in the direction Team Rocket went.

Whatshername: With that sorted out, what are YOU doing here?

Karli: I always come to work at 3:00 A.M. This is when I count the sesame seeds.

Whatshername: I thought you were going on a 2nd Pokémon journey.

Karli: I am. I'm going through Kanto again.

Whatshername: ...Are you kidding?

Karli: Do these muscles lie?

Karli flexed her left arm, which, just like her other arm, wasn't muscular.

Whatshername: ...Oh my Arceus. Instead of choosing any of the other regions in the world, like say, Galar, you choose to just travel through Kanto again.

Karli: ...Don't say it.

Whatshername: You. Are.

Karli: How do you spell "not my friend?"

Whatshername: You know that's not what I was gonna say. And let me finish. You are such. A!

Karli: DON'T SAY IT!

Whatshername: Genwunner.

Karli's entire body turned white and she fell down sideways. She immediately got back up and regained her color.

Karli: We have already discussed this! I AM NOT A GENWUNNER! If I was a genwunner, would I choose Emolga, a Gen 6 Pokémon, as my starter?! Would I have lived in Kalos for the past bunch of years?!

Whatshername: Emolga is a Gen 5 Pokémon. That sounds like a mistake a genwunner would make.

Karli: It is a perfectly legitimate mistake anyone could make. And since Emolga was born and raised in Kalos, I often forget her species is from Unova. Okay?!

Whatshername: Whatever, genwunner. Give me Emolga. We're gonna need her.

Karli reluctantly gave Whatshername Emolga's Luxury Ball, with Emolga in it. Whatshername walked back to the motor bike and got on it as Karli groaned in anger.

Lana: Where are you going?

Whatshername: Go save Team Rocket's hostage. You wanna come?

Lana: Well, heck, yeah! Can I sit behind you?

Whatshername: "No" 11 times. Just get in the side-car.

Lana and Hops got in.

Lana: Don't worry, Misty. We're coming!

Whatshername: It's not Misty.

Lana: Oh. Who is it then?

Whatshername: It's a surprise.

Karli: I like surprises. Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?

Whatshername: There's not enough room for you.

Karli: But I don't take up that much space.

Whatshername: It just wouldn't be feasible.

Karli: But I wanna help find not Misty.

Whatshername: You still can. I'm just not gonna give you a ride.

Lana and Hops put on some helmets that were in the side-car's glove world, I mean compartment.

Lana: Let's go!

Whatshername started to drive off.

Whatshername: See ya', genwunner.

Karli: I AM NOT A GENWUNNER!

The motor bike was out of sight now.

Karli: I am NOT a genwunner.

* * *

Whatshername, Lana, and Hops arrived at the Rocket Game Corner in Celadon City.

Whatshername: You wait here. I gotta go make a call.

Lana: But you said your friends were already here.

Whatshername: Most of them are. But there's one more we've gotta get down here. The most important one.

Lana: ...You?

Whatshername: What? No, not me. I'm already here. Why would you think I was talking about me?

Lana: I don't know. You just seem like that kind of person to me.

Whatshername: Well, I'm not.

Whatshername went inside. Celebi, Marshadow, and Poipole were in there waiting for her. She threw the Luxury Ball on the ground, releasing Emolga. She was still damaged from the battle earlier and woke up because she was resting.

Whatshername: There's no time to go to the Pokémon Center. Can you manage?

Emolga: Eh...what?

Whatshername: I'll take that as a yes.

Marshadow: The gang's all here! Let's go...

Whatshername: The gang is not all here! And we don't call ourselves a gang. We're a group.

Marshadow: Isn't that the same thing?

Whatshername: No. And neither are talent and natural ability.

Whatshername got on the video phone and called Diancie.

Diancie: Whatshername! You winnin' me some money at the game place, whatever it's called?

Whatshername: I'm not allowed to play games here anymore.

Diancie: Why not?

A Wynaut appeared behind Diancie.

Diancie: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

The Wynaut ran away.

Diancie: You want me to come down there and get them to unban you?

Whatshername: Actually, yeah, that be great.

Marshadow: Do I need to remind you that there's something more important you need to tell her about?

Whatshername: Oh right. Diancie, are you sure you wanna stay home? We were gonna go fight Team Rocket.

Diancie: I don't care. Fight 'em. It's not even the real Team Rocket.

Whatshername: What do you mean?

Diancie: The real Team Rocket would be hundreds of grunts led by Giovanni. Instead, it's just Crazy Robin and that one other human. Wait. Is Crazy Robin a human?

Whatshername: I think so.

Celebi: Does that change your mind at all?

Diancie: No.

Celebi: ...Can you please come here? I really miss you.

Diancie: I've been missing you too. But...it's just I...Kanto really sucks.

Whatshername: I know what'll make Kanto not seem so bad. Diancie, if you don't come and fight Team Rocket with us, a human is gonna be taking your place.

Diancie: ...What?

Whatshername: Yeah, Lana Loud's outside and I said she could help us even if you don't.

Diancie: You wouldn't!

Whatshername: Of course I would. Just look at me, Inkling-shaped, which is unfortunately similar to Octoling-shaped, the shape of evil!

Diancie: ...Are you saying that the shape of your body makes you evil? Like an Octoling?

Whatshername: Neptune, no!

Diancie: 'Cause that's what it sounded like you were saying.

Whatshername: It wasn't! It was 100% just a...

Diancie: You tell that human to go away or I'll say it.

Whatshername: Say what?

Diancie: Since you brought it up, I'm gonna call you an...

Whatshername: ALL THE NOPE!

Whatshername hung up the phone very angrily.

Whatshername: She had her chance! Let's go. Somebody go get Lana for me. Since I'm angry, I'm not gonna be able to know what the right thing to say to her is.

* * *

In their hideout beneath the Game Corner, Lynn and Robin were hiding with their captive, who was tied to a chair and under a sheet. His voice sounded like Albearto from _Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_.

?: Who are you people? I wanna go home!

Lynn: You are home, as far as you know.

?: My name isn't Asfarasyouknow.

Lynn: I know what your name is. Everybody knows what your name is!

?: Can you at least tell me why you put this voice changer in my mouth?

Lynn: That's so if someone came to save you, your iconic voice wouldn't have given away that it's you,...

Lynn took off the sheet, **revealing** that the captive was...

Lynn: SpongeBob SquarePants!

Lynn reached her hand through SpongeBob's water helmet and took the voice changing device out of his mouth.

SpongeBob: Please. Just let me go. I gotta get to Nickelodeon Studios for my 20th anniversary party.

Lynn: Always thinkin' about yourself.

SpongeBob: What are you gonna do to me? What are you gonna do with me?!

Lynn: We know how worshiped you are on the internet. So, we're gonna post a video threatening to boil you in hot oil unless everyone signs over full ownership of the internet to us!

SpongeBob: There's a good chunk of people who would be glad to see me die. Also, the internet is for everyone and no one person can own it.

Lynn: Me and Robin are two people. So HA! And again, HA! Robin, where's the camera?

Robin: ...In the back.

Lynn: What do you mean "in the back?" Why didn't you get it?

Robin: I thought you were gonna get it.

Lynn: And why would you assume that?!

Robin: This whole thing was your idea. Plus, I'm the leader. You're supposed to do stuff for me.

Lynn: Well, it's stupid that you're the leader! I think we shouldn't even have a leader anymore since it's just the two of us.

Robin: And what does how many of us there are have to do with whether or not someone should be in charge?

As they continued to argue, Lynn put the voice changer back in SpongeBob's mouth and put the sheet back on him. Then they left through the back door. Through the front door, Whatshername and the others came to SpongeBob's rescue.

Whatshername: Man, finding this room was way too freaking hard.

Lana: Yeah. Good thing I'm only gonna have to do this once.

SpongeBob: Who's there? Are you here to save me?

Whatshername: Oh, come on! We came all this way and SpongeBob's not even here! Just the mayor from _The Powerpuff Girls_ for some reason.

SpongeBob: No, it's really me. Take off the sheet.

Poipole took off the sheet and Celebi untied SpongeBob.

Poipole: It is you! But...Your voice, SpongeBob. What's wrong with your voice?

SpongeBob took the voice changer out and threw it on the ground.

SpongeBob: Never mind it. Let's get out of here before Team Rocket comes back!

Everyone left the room and started running for the elevator.

SpongeBob: I do not like this universe's Lynn. I'm sure glad the real Lynn is gonna be at my party.

Lana: My Lynn is the best Lynn.

SpongeBob: Eh, I'm sorry, what was that?

Lana: Nothing.

Whatshername: I do believe you meant "Bee ha, bala hala ba ba!"

Everyone made it to the elevator and used it to go up to B1F.

Back in the room SpongeBob was being held in, Robin and Lynn came back. They were looking down at the camera they got while they were gone.

Lynn: Got the camera. Let's get...

They looked up and saw that SpongeBob was gone.

Robin: ...Should we angrily and slowly scream the word "No?"

Just then, Patchy the Pirate and Potty Parrot came in.

Patchy: Is SpongeBob here?!

Lynn: He was.

Patchy: ...**TARTAR SAUCE!** What's a pirate gotta do to meet his hero?! Is being the president of his fan club for 20 years not enough?! How many decades is it gonna take before I stop feeling like a cereal mascot?!

Robin: ...I don't know, man. I don't know!

* * *

Emolga went back to Cerulean City and met Karli in front of the Gym.

Karli: Oh, Emolga! You're never gonna believe it!

Emolga: Emolga?

Karli: No. No giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollah! The thing that happened was a good thing! So, the reason the Gym guy was being so weird earlier was because Lana asked him where Misty was, which made him angry 'cause it got him thinking about how she keeps leaving every other day to go to some water park. That's why she was gone. She went to the water park again. And the Gym guy wishes she would stay and do her job. But the person she got to fill in for her today was none other than Sandy! As in...Sandy Cheeks! Instead of Staryu and Starmie, she used Patrick and his parents stuck together. It was the most fantabulous thing I've ever seen! I'm really sorry I didn't wait for you so you could see it. But there was no time to wait! What with SpongeBob's anniversary and a lack of time and hibernation and all that stuff.

Emolga: Emolga?

Karli: I did win. I now have 2 badges. But I don't really care right now! Pokémon's not what's cool at the moment. SpongeBob is! No offense.

Emolga: Emolga, emol.

**To Be Continued**


	3. I Keep On Trying And I'll Keep On Trying

Hi. My name's Karli.

My second Pokémon journey through X Universe Kanto has been a lot less exciting than I was hoping. I thought there would be tons of things different from my first one in the '90s and all of you would like to hear about it, but instead, barely anything noteworthy's happened.

At this point, I've gotten almost all the Gym badges and caught a bunch more Pokémon. I've also gotten acquainted with Team Rocket, who...have still done pretty much nothing.

You ready to go, Emolga? It's time for us to step out of this Pokémon Center, walk around a bunch, and _hope_ that something interesting happens.

What a coincidence! I was just talking about Team Rocket, and now here they are. Lynn's fighting Banjo & Kazooie for some reason and Robin's just leaning on a fence and is all like "Girl, this is stupid and you're wasting our time."

Robin: Lynn! I already told you that's not a Pokémon.

Lynn: How would you know? _I'm_ the one who's from this universe.

Robin: Oh, so just because I'm an Animal Crosser, I don't know a Pokémon when I see one?

Ooh! Lynn got distracted and now Banjo's kicking her butt. Man, I wish you could see this fight.

Emolga: Emolga!

Lynn dodges Banjo's punch. She spots a...I forget what they're called. The item in Smash Bros. that's better if you shoot from a long distance. She's firing it at him. Robin's still not liking this.

Emolga: Emolga!

Huh? Oh, you're right. There is a Smash Ball! Looks like Lynn's gonna be the one to get it. Oh, no, I was wrong. Banjo's got it! He uses it and...he misses. But Lynn suddenly has her Final Smash Meter filled! Whoa! I apparently enjoy commentating Smash matches.

Robin: Where's the Pokémon story? I thought we were doing a Pokémon story!

Says the Animal Crossing character!

Robin: We're called Animal Crossers!

Until you show me proof that anyone has ever once called you that, I am not...Oh my Arceus! Look at Lynn's Final Smash! It takes Banjo up to 129% but he narrowly avoids getting KO'd. I really shouldn't say "him" and "Banjo," but it comes to naturally. Sorry, Kazooie. Lynn takes a Poké Ball off her belt, throws it at Banjo-Kazooie, and...it bounces right off of them because they're not a Pokémon! Maybe if Lynn had bothered to try to use her Poké Dex on them first, she would've known that.

The Announcer: TIME! Banjo & Kazooie WIN!

Lynn: Look at you. You think you're so cool just because you can play the banjo?

Oh. I guess I now have to mention that Banjo & Kazooie did the victory animation where they play their instruments.

Lynn: Come on, Robin. Let's get outta here.

Robin: Are you sure? I feel like we're forgetting why we came here. Didn't we want to steal some Pokémon or something?

Emolga: *quotes a line from Teen Titans Go! but in her language*

Lynn: Yeah, that brown and orange one with two heads. But apparently it's not actually a Pokémon, so we wasted our time.

Lynn is angry. Is that coming across?

Robin: No, you didn't know they were here until we got here. That means there must've been some other reason we...

My Arceus! You two are so dull! You had the **_potential_** to be a fun duo of antagonists, but the lack of time Anthony had to write this resulted in you both being extremely underdeveloped. Come on, Emolga. Let's go win another Gym battle by using the same move and healing item over and over and over again until the Gym Leader's Pokémon eventually runs out of HP. And once again, the Gym Leader will give me a big speech about how my victory was an amazing accomplishment that demonstrates how much skill and strength I have when it's anything but.

Me, Emolga, and Banjo-Kazooie have all left, leaving Team Rocket on their own.

Lynn: Underdeveloped? Does that mean what I think it means?

Robin: Are you worried she's calling you short?

Lynn: No.

* * *

"It was about 5 years ago. I flew into my favorite forest, probably to relax, when I was met with the awful sight of some people planning to chop down the trees. There was nothing I could do, so I knew that I would need some help. So, I went to the Pokémon Center and got one of Anthony's Pokémon out of the PC box. She took care of those mean deforesters like it was nothing! One day, I was crying about something, I can't remember what, and, despite the fact this doesn't sound like her at all, she looked down at me with a sad face, comforted me, and promised that she would protect me. As you know, Arceus made it so she feels the same pain I do whenever I get physically hurt because she has to protect me from everything. Even with our completely opposite personalities, we've been best friends ever since, except for that one time she got amnesia on her birthday. And that's how I met Diancie." Celebi told her dear friends Marshadow and Poipole.

The small house in Vaniville Town with no humans living in it anymore went silent for a moment.

"I have a question." Poipole said with his hand raised.

"Yes, Poipole?"

"Why do you hang out in the forest that requires you to go through the place where it's always snowing when you're weak to Ice instead of the one that's much closer to where we live?"

"...I...have no idea."


	4. That Sounds Like A Paradox To Me

**Paradox is from Daughter of Time by Sea Pony. I recommend it. Unlike this, it's actually good.**

Diancie's group had all come home because it was her birthday (July 19th, Diancie Day) and because they thought Espurr had been defeated for good. See what I mean by this not being good? You can't just completely gloss over the main characters thinking they beat the villain. That's not good writing, that's HORRIBLE writing! It immediately makes readers want to know WHY they think they beat her and you have to tell them how. And yet, here I am not telling you.

On September 8th, 2019, everyone was home except for Emolga and Whatshername. Emolga was still staying in X Universe Kanto because Karli needed her, and Whatshername had been called in by Officer Jenny. Diancie answered the door after hearing a knock. It was a human girl she had never seen before, with blonde hair and a black eye.

?: Hello. My name is Paradox. I'm looking for my mother and friends. Have you seen...?

Paradox cut herself off when she caught a glimpse of Diancie's best friend. The human got excited when she saw the little green Pokémon and ran up to her really fast, giving her a surprise hug. Suddenly being grabbed, and by someone she didn't know, frightened Celebi. The intense fear she felt made her break out of the girl's grip and hide behind both Diancie and Marshadow.

Paradox: Mom, what's wrong?

Celebi: Ma...mom?

Paradox: It's me, Paradox.

Celebi: Miss, I think you're mistaking me for someone else. I'm not anyone's mother.

Hearing Celebi say this got Marshadow thinking about their future. About how he might have kids with her some day. Are you cringing yet? Because I know I am.

Paradox: Oh, I see what's happening. I've come across you some time when you were time traveling before you adopted me. Oh wait, I probably shouldn't say that.

Marshadow: You definitely shouldn't...because it's completely wrong. Celbs here gave up her time travel powers over a year ago.

Paradox: What?! But that would mean that there's more than one Celebi, which there isn't. Well, actually, I have seen another one, but at least that one was a different color.

Poipole: There's plenty more than that. Tell her, Celebi. Tell her the story of how Anthony caught you. In fact, please tell it anyway because you still haven't told it to me and I've heard it's good.

Celebi was hesitant to do as Poipole wanted. But she could tell by the look on Paradox's face that her world view was being changed with the discovery that there's more than one Celebi. She didn't want this innocent girl to feel this way, so she decided to lie.

Celebi: I'm a Ditto.

Paradox: You are?

Celebi: Uh-huh.

Diancie: She's just roleplaying as a Celebi right now. And you had better leaver her alone, or I'm gonna...!

Paradox: I see. But then what was that about giving up time travel a year ago?

Marshadow: Uhhh...I meant one in-game year.

Paradox: In-game year?

Marshadow: Yeah, we're all roleplaying. I'm pretending to be a...uhh...

Poipole: A shiny Poipole. I'm roleplaying as a regular purple one. Marshadow is a Zoroark in disguise. So, is it true that your mom is a Celebi?

Paradox: Indeed. She adopted me when I was abandoned by my biological mother as a baby. She raised me in Ilex Forest among many other Pokémon, which is why I can talk to them.

Poipole: Oh. I figured you just took a translation pill.

Paradox: I don't know what those are.

Paradox walked up slowly to Celebi and looked at her closely, which scared the Psychic/Grass mythical.

Diancie: She already said she's not your mom!

Paradox: I know, I know. I just wanted to get a closer look. And now that I have, I can see the differences between her and my mother. I'm surprised I didn't see them before. Maybe it was because of this black eye.

Diancie: What are you talking about? Every Celebi looks exactly the same unless it's a Shiny. That's true for pretty much every kind of Pokémon.

Paradox: You're really ignorant if you actually believe that.

Diancie: Okay. You need to leave my house immediately.

Paradox: I'm still looking for my friends. Would any of you like to...?

Diancie: I said "OUT!"

Diancie pushed Paradox outside and slammed the door.

Paradox: So impolite. And not once did she say "out."

Paradox tried calling out to her friends as she walked away from the house.

Paradox: Looker! Luna! Where are you?!

Espurr poked her head out of a bush by Diancie's house.

Espurr: Hey, human. I'll bet I know what your problem is. I think you're in the wrong universe.

Paradox: The wrong universe? What on Earth are you talking about?

Espurr: Head on down to Reflection Cave on Route 11. Someone there will explain it to ya'.

Paradox: Umm...Okay.

After Paradox was out of sight, Espurr's older brother Meowstic also came out of the bush. Oh. I should mention that he's not technically her brother. That's due to some super weird lore I've never told anyone about. See, I used to keep my fanfiction to myself and after about 5 whopping years of that is when I decided to share it. I somehow didn't think about how no one wants to jump into something with too much lore like that so late because I was being extremely idiotic.

Meowstic: What exactly is your plan here?

Espurr: She MIGHT end up in the X Universe, which MIGHT somehow lead to Diancie's group going back there, and they'll be out of my way again.

Meowstic: You know they think you're dead? That sounds to me like they're out of your way anyway.

Espurr: STOP IT! This is a completely necessary and foolproof plan! I am not an idiot!

Meowstic: I never said you were an idiot.

Espurr: I know! Don't bother saying it. I know you're gonna say "You are one, but I didn't say it."

Meowstic: I wasn't even thinking about saying that.

Espurr: SILENCE!

Inside the house, Diancie was still at the front door and eagerly staring at it.

Diancie: What is taking her so long?! It's Whatshername's birthday, and absolutely nobody else's, she should just be home already!

* * *

Paradox went to Reflection Cave and the first portal she tried was to the X Universe. There is absolutely no freaking reason she would end up in Kanto instead of Kalos, but the plot needs her to be in Kanto and I don't give a barnacle about making it make sense because it's hard to care.

If this is coming off as me complaining about a lack of readers, I promise I'm not. It's just that I don't have enough motivation to make this good. Why am I writing it then, you ask? I wish I knew why!

Paradox was walking past the police station as Whatshername was storming out of it in anger.

Paradox: Oh good, a police officer. You should be able to help me find my...

Whatshername: Not anymore.

Paradox: Huh?

Whatshername: I just got fired! Ya' see, a few months ago I was supposed to arrest Team Rocket when they kidnapped SpongeBob, not run away with him while they weren't in the room. And the reason I'm only now getting fired for it is because Officer Jenny wanted to wait until my birthday to fire me. If that is not the biggest jerk move a person can possibly pull, I don't know what is! Why am I telling you this? I don't even know you!

Paradox: Did you say "Team Rocket?!"

Whatshername: That's right, Team Rocket.

Paradox: I'd be happy to help you defeat them. Where are they?

Whatshername: I don't know.

Whatshername looked to her right and spotted two certain people.

Whatshername: Huh, what do ya' know? There they are.

Robin and Lynn were loitering at the Pokémon Center, which was right next to the police station.

Whatshername: Oh, they think they can just stand in one place like that?! I'll show them just standing in one place!

Whatshername ran over to Team Rocket, with Paradox following shortly after. Paradox was shocked when, instead of using one of her Pokémon, Whatshername just hit Robin over and over with her Splat Roller. Robin was now covered in ink and seemed to be in a lot of pain, but, in a cartoony way, she was able to take it.

Paradox: Whoa! Why are you being so violent?

Whatshername: Where I come from, this is perfectly normal!

Robin: Umm, no. Inklings only use Splat Rollers in Ink Battles, not just randomly beating people up.

Whatshername: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW, ANIMAL CROSSING?!

Robin: Can you please stop hitting me? It's my birthday, so I should get to loiter wherever I want.

Whatshername: By that logic, you can't complain about this since it's my birthday too!

Robin: I didn't say you get to _do_ anything you want when it's your birthday, just loiter wherever you want.

Whatshername hit Robin one more time, which won her that battle. Paradox began to have a battle against Lynn and her Alolan Marowak. Paradox had never seen an Alolan Marowak before, but she could tell it was a Fire type, so she used Splash, her Marill.

Whatshername: I've had enough of stupid X universe Kanto! I'm goin' home!

Whatshername stormed off as Paradox and Lynn's battle went on, for waaaaaaaaay longer than any battle between a Marill and Alolan Marowak would. This is the 2nd least game accurate battle I've ever seen. If you know what happened to Ash in the Kalos league, then you know what battle has first place for that. While the battle continued, Karli stepped out of the Pokémon Center with Emolga. Karli was now wearing a pair of rectangular eyeglasses. That "she" refers to Karli, not Emolga.

Karli: Hi, Robin! Hi, Lynn!

Paradox: Are you with them?!

Karli: No. I'm a good guy.

Paradox: Then please help me battle them.

Karli: Sorry. Can't.

Paradox: And why is that?

Karli: The Pokémon League rules say only one at a time.

Deciding she didn't care about following the Pokémon League rules, Emolga floated up higher into the air and then used Hidden Power on Marowak.

Emolga: EMOL...GAAAAAAAAAA!

This was enough to make him faint. Lynn returned her Pokémon to his ball and then Team Rocket fled away.

Robin: This is not enough to ruin my birthday!

Paradox: We should go after them.

Karli: Nah, it's fine. They'll just be back again anyway. And sis, why did you use a move right after I said what the Pokémon League rules say?

Emolga: I just thought to myself, "What would Diancie do?"

Karli: Then it's technically still not the right thing to do, 'cause Diancie couldn't use an Electric attack like that even if she wanted to.

Paradox: Did you call your Pokémon "Sis?" I've never seen anyone do that except for this one Gym Leader I met.

Karli: Well, she's not my Pokémon, but yes. And yeah, my sister is a Pokémon. I know, it's weird.

Paradox: No, it's not weird at all. I have a relative who's a Pokémon too, my mother.

Karli: Oh, really? What Pokémon?

Paradox: Celebi.

Emolga: What a coincidence! One of my best friends is a Celebi.

Paradox: What?! That can't be! Are you from Kalos?

Emolga: Yeah.

Paradox: Do you live in Vaniville Town?

Emolga: Uh-huh.

Paradox: Then you must mean the Ditto that was pretending to be a Celebi.

Emolga: Uhhh...Okay...then?

Karli: Would you like to have a battle against me, Paradox?

Paradox: How did you know my name?

It was because Karli has read the fanfiction that Paradox is from. Not knowing how she would react to that, Karli had to come up with a lie.

Karli: "Paradox" is slang for "pretty girl."

Paradox: Oh. Thank you then. I'll battle you if it's a quick one. I really should get back to finding my friends.

Karli was able to beat Paradox using just Emolga. She had Dynamaxed, which made Paradox's Pokémon faintable (that's not a word) with just one move. Emolga had to battle Splash in her normal size, but was still able to take the Marill out with a single attack thanks to the type advantage.

Karli: Sorry about making that so hard for you. I didn't mean to. This is the 2nd time Emolga's turned gigantic like that and we have no idea how...

Before Emolga's sister could finish her sentence, all of time across the universe was frozen. I sure would love it if I could've just showed you that instead of telling you because after having to write that sentence, I realize that the "freezing time" trope doesn't work as well in a written form of media than it does in a visual one because putting it in a sentence just makes it sound ridiculous. Am I overreacting? Yes I am. Let's move on.

Time had been frozen by Espurr. Only her and Meowstic were unaffected by the freezing. Oh, they're in X Universe Kanto now. Does this narrator sound like he's supposed to be a parody of narrators? 'Cause he isn't. I just genuinely don't care about giving this any semblance of quality.

Espurr: New plan!

Meowstic: Why are you only now saying that?

Espurr: I'm gonna steal Karli's hat and then Emolga will call the rest of the group over here to look for it!

Meowstic: But your last plan hadn't exactly failed yet. And again, you don't need a plan because they think you're dead. You're being evil just for evil's sake.

Espurr: SHUT UP!

Meowstic: Why am I even here? I feel like I'm here because a lazy comedy writer needs a straight man in the scene he's working on and literally no other reason. Specifically, I feel like that lazy writer has already pointed out the problems his lazy writing is causing instead of actually doing something about them several times and now it's starting to get old, which means it's not at all working anymore, which it never actually was in the first place.

Espurr: What part of "SHUT UP!" do you not understand? I wanna get to the part where I give exposition on how I froze time.

Meowstic: **NO ONE CARES!**

Espurr: I WAS ABLE TO FREEZE TIME by using this yellow watch, just like the ones seen in the hit 2002 Nickelodeon film Clockstoppers. So, I'm not actually freezing time because that's not what happens in the movie, but whatever. I don't care if the way I worded it is 100% wrong. I've never even seen that stupid movie. I am going to use this thing for this one plot and then throw it away and never acknowledge its existence ever again.

Espurr took Karli's hat right off of her head and ran away with it with Meowstic following behind. When Espurr was far enough away that the others wouldn't see her, she got out of Hyper Time and then threw the watch away.

Karli covered her body with her arms.

Karli: Whoa! Sorry again. I don't know what happened, but I'm naked all of a sudden.

Paradox: You're not naked. I know a lack of clothes when I see one. Your hat is missing though.

The joke is that she feels naked without her hat.

Karli got wide eyes and a dropped jaw. She slowly looked up at the top of her head and saw that what Paradox had just said was true. Then she screamed.

Karli: My hat's gone! We gotta find it!

Paradox: What? Why? What's so important about your hat?

With her hat stolen, Karli couldn't stop hyperventilating, but she was able to keep her cool enough to carry out the conversation.

Karli: There is no particular reason why it's important to me. No backstory or anything like that. I just really like it and can't imagine life without it. I can't even picture myself not wearing it! Will you please help me look for it?!

Paradox: I can't. I'm already looking for...

Karli: You help me find it and I'll tell you how you can find your friends instantly!

Paradox wasn't sure what to make of this. How could someone know how to do that? Could she even trust this person? It had been a really weird day for her, so she decided to just go with it.

Paradox: Okay.

Karli: Okay. There's this person in another universe named Lisa Special who can find other universes and open portals to them like it's nothing. Once we find my hat, I'll tell you how to get to her and she'll be able to help you get back to your universe easy peasy. Just please don't tell her about my involvement in this. I'm pretty sure she hates me.

Paradox: ...What?

Karli: If I can't wear my hat right now, there's no way in heck I'm wearing these stupid glasses!

Karli put her hand on her glasses, but Paradox stopped her before she could take them off.

Paradox: Wait! Don't you need those?

Karli: I usually wear contact lenses. I only started wearing these again to change things up. But I refuse to accept any change while my hat is gone!

Karli took off her glasses. Her sudden drop in vision quality made her put them right back on.

Karli: Never mind. Emolga, we're gonna need to talk to each other during this and this is too serious a situation for us to do that thing where you say your name and then I guess what you were saying and then you confirm my guess was right. So, just take a translation pill. I don't care how much it makes your pee burn!

You understood that thing she said earlier just fine, so that implies she can speak her language and you can...Oh, who cares?

* * *

They searched for Karli's hat all day. Paradox was just as uninterested in this as you are. Oh, who am I kidding? That's not even close to possible. Eventually, after a pointless Ganondorf cameo, a portal opened in front of them and Luan Special came out of it with Karli's hat in her hand.

Luan: I believe this is yours.

Karli: Aah! Oh my Arceus, thank you so much!

Luan: Don't call me So Much. My name's Luan.

Karli took the hat from her and put it back on as quickly as possible.

Karli: Wait. You didn't wear it did you?

Luan: I'm not gonna lie, I was tempted to. But I didn't.

Karli: Oh thank goodness! I was worried I just got Luan cooties.

Luan: Yeah, I know how much your hat means to you and that you like to never take it off. I'm the same way about my shoes.

Karli: Really?

Luan: That's right! Anthony took a personality trait that was unique to you and gave it to me. _How does that make you feel?_

Karli: ...I feel I should be mad about it, but...I'm finding it charming...That's...weird.

Luan: ...Okay. Not the reaction I was expecting. Anyway, I see you got glasses. I got glasses to.

Karli: Really?

Luan: Yep. Look-it!

Luan put on a pair of those glasses that make googly eyes fall out of the lenses. You guys know what I'm talkin' about right? The plastic eyes are on like a little Slinky thing? Whatever. She took 'em off.

Luan: I expect you to ask, so I'll tell you how I found it. Some gray Pokémon I don't know the name of gave it to me and asked me to hide it.

Karli: That must've been Espurr.

Luan: Gosh darn it! I didn't wanna know what it's called!

Karli: Good. I like it when bad things happen to you.

Paradox: Do you two know each other?

Karli: I'd rather not get into it.

Luan: Me either. But for a different reason.

Paradox: Out of curiosity, how'd you resist the temptation to try it on and why are you returning it if Espurr asked you to hide it?

Luan: Because I know it's important to her. I wouldn't want something that's important to me being used in a way I wouldn't like or kept away from me. So even after what Karli did to me at the water park, I couldn't bare to not let her have her hat back.

Karli: Wow, Luan. That's really...

Karli looked into Luan's eyes. She began to feel an emotion that was quite the opposite of the one thinking about Luan usually made her feel. It was an emotion she hadn't felt about any girl in years.

Karli: Wha...wha...wha...Why is this happening?!

Luan: Why is what happening?

Luan looked at the expression on Karli's face. How quickly she had went from happiness to pure distraught was enough for Luan to be able to figure out what was going on.

Luan: Holy guac, are you in love with me?!

Karli: No! No, I can't be! Anthony would never do that to me!

Luan: Yes he would! You know why?! Because he loves me more than you. And now, SO DO YOU!

Karli: Lies!

Luan: You love me!

Karli: NO I DON'T!

Luan: I gotta say, I would've thought you loving me would make things worse, but apparently Anthony's decided to make me think this is great news! You're gonna want to try to be with me, but you know full well what Lisa will do to you if you do and I won't want to be with you anyway, so you're gonna have to stay away. Not getting to be with me, the person you love, is going to drive you insane! I. Love. THIS!

Karli: NO! I just feel like I'm in love with you because I'm grateful for you bringing my hat back.

Luan: Denial's not just a river in Utah!

Luan turned around back to the portal and happily jumped into it.

Luan: This is the greatest day of my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!

Karli: This is the worst birthday ever!

Karli planted her face in the ground and began crying.

Paradox: ...Ummm...I was once in love with somebody that I felt I shouldn't have been. Would you like me to give you some advice, or...would you rather...?

Karli: Rather be alone right now? Yes please.

Paradox: Alright.

Luan leaned out of the portal again a little.

Luan: Hey Paradox, if you wanna get back to your universe, my sister Lisa can help you out with that no problem.

Paradox: That's good to hear. And thank you for calling me pretty.

Luan: Ooh no! What gave you that idea?

Paradox: Karli told me "Paradox" means...

Luan: Well, it doesn't.

Paradox: So you were just calling me that because it's my name? How did you know?

Luan: A _very_ long story that my other sister Wrench won't understand. You have a friend named Luna and my twin is named Luna. I was required to acknowledge that. Come with me. Oh, and sorry if what I said made it sound like I was calling you ugly. I don't know how good or bad looking you are 'cause I'm aroace.

Luan got back out of sight. Paradox looked down at Karli one last time, feeling sorry for her. She then went through the portal and it vanished.

Karli: I changed my mind. I want advice. Emolga?

Emolga: ...Well, I've got one idea. But I guarantee you you're not gonna like it.

Karli: That's okay. For now, I'll take anything. What is it?

Emolga: ...What if you...stopped being a lesbian?

Karli: ...What?

Emolga: ...Well, if you were straight, you couldn't be in love with Luan. Maybe you'd be in love with Lane instead and maybe you wouldn't mind that.

Karli: Yeah, no. I'm not gonna do that.

Emolga: I thought so. Are you mad at me?

Karli: No, it's fine. I was the one who asked for advice. I just need to pick someone who'd be better at it.

Karli went to a payphone and called Sasha.

Sasha: Hello?

Karli: Sasha, it's me and I've got a huuuuge problem.

Sasha: Did you lose your hat?

Karli: ...Well yeah, I did, but we found it. In fact, and I can't believe I'm saying this, this might be an even worse problem.

Sasha: Oh my Arceus, what is it?!

Karli: You know that girl I hate I was telling you about? Luan Special?

Sasha: Yeah.

Karli: Well...I'm in love with her now.

Sasha: What?!

Karli: I don't wanna love her! I wanna keep hating her!

Sasha: Well, uhh...You hated me when you first met me. But you ended up getting a crush on my and thanks to that, I learned that I'm bi. Maybe the same kind of thing could happen with Luan.

Karli: No, you don't understand! Even if I did wanna pursue these feelings of mine, Luan would never have me. She's aroace. And on toppa that, her sister Lisa told me to...She said she never wanted to see my face in their universe again because I...Let's just say I wouldn't leave Luan alone. The way I wouldn't leave her alone now would be much much worse. So, do you have any advice at all?

Sasha: ...I'm not sure. For now, I say wait a day and see if you still feel this way about her tomorrow. Maybe your feelings will go away.

Karli: I sure hope so. Thank you. Good bye.

Sasha and Karli both hung up. Sasha was sitting across from Sashazero at the dining room table in her parents' house.

Sashazero: So what's this card game you're making me play?

Sasha: It is called...

Sasha put a deck of blue trading cards on the table.

Sasha: _**Pokémon!**_

Sashazero took the cards and ripped them in half because she hates Pokémon.


	5. The Garbage Finale to Garbage

**If there's anyone out there who was enjoying this fic, I'm sorry for how lazy I got with the ending. If you wanted to see it get an actually good ending, please let me know and I'll consider writing one. The reason I'm doing it this way is because it really seems to me like nobody cared about this fic, which is fine. I stopped caring about it myself.**

I just beat the Pokémon League and everyone there made a big huge deal about it but I honestly couldn't possibly care less. This journey through Kanto did not at all go like I thought it would. I was expecting lots of fun and excitement but it instead just kinda existed. I feel dumb for expecting this to be a grand adventure. My mom straight up lied to me. She said a lot has changed since I've been away, but everything is pretty much exactly how I remember it. I also feel dumb for expecting Kanto to be different.

I'm definitely going home now. Hopefully my life can get back on track, but I know for a fact it won't. I don't even care about Pokémon much anymore. There's a really important thing in Galar this month and I didn't even know which day it was on until I accidentally saw the date online yesterday. That's how unexcited for it I am. Instead, all I've been able to think about is Luan Special. None of that is a metaphor for Anthony, the person writing this, at all. He's always used me as a projection of himself, but he's most definitely not doing that here.

But yeah, that "me falling in love with Luan Special and not liking it" thing is still a thing despite the fact it's gone nowhere. Anthony has been making me, his former favorite character, go through something horrible for no good reason. And I'm not talking about this fic. But I easily could be. Anthony said the love plot line thing is gonna lead to something on Valentine's Day. That had better be where it ends or I am so grabbing him by the...

* * *

So anyway, I'm back at my house in Y Universe Kalos now. I'm putting my key in the lock, turning my key, taking it back out, opening the door, and walking into the living room. There doesn't seem to be anybody here. "Sasha? Twin Anthony? Undeveloped talking Meowstic character who adds nothing and is 100% pointless? Anybody home?"

"I'm not home, but I'm here." Aaahh! I know that voice. It can't possibly be who I think it is. If it is, that is awesome! I'm turning around to see who it is and...Nope! It's some random little blonde boy I've never seen before in my life. Is...Is he wearing a bow tie? What is this, 1944? Wait. Does that joke make any sense at all? Oh, who cares? "My name is Lane," he says. "I don't know if it's socially acceptable to go into strangers' houses without permission in this universe, but it's really cold outside and I don't have my coat."

Oh my Arceus. I just realized who this kid probably is. Seriously, Anthony?! You're doing this to me?! "What are you doing here?"

"Well...Uhh...There's this uhh...kinda sorta problem I've been having lately and I thought maybe you could help me with it," he responds while looking down and twirling the hair on the side of his head.

"I'm sorry, but not right now. I can tell by the way you look that you're an opposite gender version of Luan Special and anything related to her is the last thing I need right now. Right now, I just wanna be sad about my declining in quality life alone."

"Understandable."

"Call me on the day after Valentine's Day and ask me if I'm ready to talk to you then."

"I don't know what Valentine's Day is, but I can look it up. Also, there's a note on the fridge for you that you should read. Not from me." He's now facing the front door, opening it, and hanging his butt in the air. "Kick me out. It'll make you feel better."

"Okay," I say, surprisingly happy.

* * *

I kicked him about an hour ago. I haven't read that note he told me about yet because laying on the couch sounded like something I'd much rather do. I'll go check it out now though.

It says everybody's at some party celebrating how Ash finally beat the Kalos Pokémon League and I'm invited. I'm now balling the piece of paper up and tossing it in the trash. That's right. This one particular piece of paper belongs in the trash, not the recycle bin.

Ash finishing his Kalos journey was supposed to be the lead-in to Eureka starting a new one in Galar. But, unless someone wants him to, it is very very unlikely Anthony is still going to write that. Please feel free to tell him if you want to see Eureka's Galar journey.

* * *

"What is Karli's problem?" Diancie asks, annoyed with me.


End file.
